I don’t know what to call this.

by Shannon

I have not been posting lately. I always say life is busy, and life always is, but that is hardly an excuse. Rather, I’ve been wrapped up in it, or wrapped up in avoiding it. One or the other.

I have three more semesters of school, plus two summer courses, if all goes as planned. If not, well. This semester is nearly over, and I feel like I am craning my neck to keep my chin above water. It’s not as bad as all that, but not as good as last semester either. I’m nearly finished my English degree, thankfully. Only two more courses (one media course and my 400 level seminar), neither of which are being offered next semester. Well, that’s a lie. One is, but at too unforgiving a time to be worth it. So in the fall I overload on Education courses, which is all I have really wanted to do anyway.

My relationship with my English degree is peculiar. I love the subject, as always, but I’m rather over the courses. As much as I needed to take the break that led me from leaving King’s, I feel like the department fit me better. Here, everyone is lovely but I’m wrong for it. Their values too cloistered, too unrealistic, well-intended but stifling, and the undergrads take their cues there. I remember how I shaped my opinions and worldview at their age under more liberal professors, so I can’t throw stones, but I’ll be glad to be finished.

Of course, I’m also rather jaded. I’ve taken the theory, had the debates, written the papers. It’s all done before and I’m not learning much.

Not that I don’t still grow into my own skin. But I find that more in Education now than anywhere else. Or in myself, as I have been.

I still write, though I don’t post about it or post anything. The longer projects are mostly on hold and the shorter ones slow going, balanced precariously between research projects and studying. I may or may not have a poem to post soon. It’s in draft stages, but I may be compelled to submit it to the school literary magazine, depending on circumstances. I’d rather send it somewhere more legitimate, but there you have it.

Anyway, I’m still alive. More on twitter than anywhere else. Perhaps when the semester ends I’ll have a bit more to say. Until then, have a song. I have recently developed a passion for songs about things like kindness and taking responsibility, and this is one of a growing list of songs on repeat.